visualization a conversation with my Future Self

I pull up to the front of her... our? house and get out of my car. We park in the front in the horseshoe driveway and kill the engine. I step out in my flip flops onto the slate grey cobblestones, and head toward her door. A modest fountain is surrounded by impeccably pruned scrubs and other landscaping. Gorgeous flowers near the front door! I knock on the classy doors with wrought iron and old country feel, and when I realize that didn't do much, I ring the lit up doorbell and wait. I can hear dogs barking--my dogs-- and some of our kids, older now, running up and down the stairs. 

She opens the door with such joy, you'd think I was Oprah showing up on her doorstep. I walk in and the door stays swinging open. She has faux locs this time, and she's a little thicker but still looks healthy. She's beaming, and we're still hugging-- by this time both jumping around. I'm gonna remember that perfume... and I really can't catch up with her hairstyles. 

"Girrrrrlll! Oh my gosh, I been waiting for eternity for you to get here"

"Oh stop! Well, thank you for waiting on me. I feel blessed to be here"

We look at each other up and down just grinning, and taking it in. I could hear our older kids upstairs laughing and carrying on, and my husband's future self was in the kitchen, while my now husband was sitting in the running car trying hard to see through the door. 

"Come in, come in." Future me walked her little cute self into the living room. Nala and Jordan, both older, sniffed me curiously. We sat down. Nala, now a grown red nose pit bull, immediately hops in my nap and gives me a hug. I cradle her like a baby like I did when she was a puppy. In my time, actually she is a puppy.

The couch feels like the butteriest leather you've ever layed your rear end on. I stroke it like a weirdo, savoring the comfort and the cashmere feeling throw blankets. We are by ourselves now and all of the noise of what anybody else is doing or thinking ceases to exist.

"So... you had some questions for me?" She says, stroking Jordan's floppy old ears, as he is sitting next to her feet, staring at me wistfully. 

"Yes"
I thought for a minute... My mind was drawing a blank for a minute. I kept looking around at her digs, it was so amazing I could only just gape. Some of this stuff was straight off my vision board at home. Spiral staircase, check. Hardwood floors, check. Man-- just let me in their kitchen and I'll tell you what in there I manifested. Oh yeah, questions. Right...

"How did you ultimately really convince yourself...(ourself?) that you could create all this?"
I look at her, quietly narrowing my eyes..

She laughed a hearty open laugh, "Well why the fuck not, my love?"

"What kind of things do you struggle with on a day to day basis?"

"Well, not really any of the things you currently do, so your question is irrelevant to your experience. Can we cut the bullshit now? I am you so I know how you think. All you gotta do is be happy with what you got. When you figure that out, come back and see me, anytime. I literally am 110% sure you are capable of much more than you are giving yourself credit for. I'm sleepy and we have a very important business meeting tomorrow..."

She stood up but I stayed in my seat. There was a pause, "You want to see the kitchen, don't you?"
We both chuckled and I nodded, "...and my husband in the kitchen, the kids upstairs... and my youngest."

She nodded and gently led me by the arm upstairs. After about an hour, I came back outside and hopped in the car. My husband asked so eagerly, "How was it? We have to hurry up to get home" 

Grinning hard, I responded:

"It was good. Everything that I expected."