Enjoying the Journey- No, Really.

I am casually scrolling on my Samsung phone. I can hear the rain gurgling and gently popping like popcorn in the background and my doggie Jordan is below me at the foot of the couch. I reach up and swoop a silky strand or two through my finger tips-- I've just had a silk press and I must say I am very impressed. I look up because I hear the front door lock turning and my husband walks through the door with our girl dog Nala on the leash through the threshold. We live in a nice house now. Girl, lemme tell you, it was easy to get our application approved for a mortgage, you just don't know. Yes, easier than when past Us bought that first car, what was it? A dodge journey? Yeah... that's what it was. Isaiah and Justin share that car now, but I think Justin is gonna get sick of sharing and buy his own little car because Isaiah keeps hogging it! I would get involved but it's better to let them handle it themselves at this age and honestly it's funny to watch. I greet ...

All my life, I have heard the whole "you have to work twice as hard" shtick from my family. Growing up as a Black child, you really can't get out of someone in your family sitting you down and telling you that the world treats you differently because of your skin color. When I became an adult and had my own Black child,  I thought it was my duty to tell him he would one day be a Black man living in America and that he needs to understand that there's racist people and racist institutions out there that will take advantage of him if he is not vigilant. I gave him the "you have to work twice as hard" speech-- probably before he was in 1st grade. What can you do when your kid tells you he notices the difference in how they treat the white children and how they treat him and other children of color? When experience confirms the notion that we are on unequal footing time and time again, it's hard to deny. History confirms it, the news damn sure confirms it....

I went to the beauty shop today to get my bi-weekly deep conditioner and press and curl. I've been wearing my hair straight these days. Still got the natural curls, but I just wanted to switch it up and try something different. I was tired of the braids, so I decided on a straight short cut that looks good all done up and curly if I'm too lazy to do it in between salon visits. I love my life. Everything I want always comes my way. It's so easy, and you know, before now, I had a hard time fathoming how this could really be my reality but it really fucking is. Just wow-- like a good daydream that never ends. I like to fully relax when I get my hair done. The shampoo lady who does my hair is really good and always hooks me up and gets those nooks and crannies I typically miss in the shower. Ahhh it feels so good! I know all the stylists in the salon and they're all nice. I even know some of the other ladies that come to the salon. I tend to give out business cards for o...

I have done everything I've felt like doing and everything I've needed to take care of and everything I've wanted to do deep down and was burning to do. Secondly, I feel free. I feel how hang gliders must feel when they are soaring into the air with the earth and beautiful ocean beneath them. I feel easy. I feel like I just meditated and I have the remainder of the day to do with as I please until the kids get out of school. I feel so free. I feel like I just went swimming and I am sunbathing on a rock knowing that my children are safe still in the water with my husband and the dogs. I feel like I just got a massage and I was totally accepting of the experience and let my body relax completely because the ambiance was so inviting-- I love the smell of the candles burning and the body oil slick on my skin with the beautiful flute or harp music playing in the background.  I feel like I just found a purse with $1000.00 in it and no one claimed it, and everyone urges me to k...

I am standing in front of the school waiting for him to come outside. I just came from work, but it was a writing day, so that just means Starbucks or whatever new cool little offbeat coffee shop I can find. I'm wearing brand new black, dark blue and grey Nike warm up suit with matching grey tennis shoes. My hair is natural in a small comfortable bun. I get to pick him up every day-- mostly we just pick up where we left off in the morning. Iz is shooting up like a bean pole. I always knew he would be tall but he's already taller than me and he hasn't quite reached middle school yet, so I don't know how the hell tall he's going to be. He walks out in his nicely ironed yet now dirty khaki pants and green collared and the same big bright smile he's had since he was small. "Hey Ma. Where are we headed? I have jiu jitsu classes at 6 and I have to do homewor...". He already starts into his laundry list of what he has to do. I hold up my hand and shake my ...

I like coming home and everything is in its place. Not only are my kitchen and bathrooms clean, but the side boards are clean and the inside of the drawers and cabinets are neatly and carefully cleaned and organized. Not only are these areas cleaned and organized, but whenever they get messy I keep a good mental register of what needs done and get it taken care of to maintain the pristine condition of my home.  All my photos are printed and hung on the wall or in albums organized by event or year. The kid's room is so organized!! Oh my God. Everyone has their own drawer. Our oldest has his own bed in front of the two bund beds. There is a beautiful custom made sign on the door that says all of their names.  My office is opulent. I upgraded my desk and chair. The maple wood of the desk shines so dark and luxuriously smooth. I moved the desk into mine and my husband's room. There are compartments now. And my office chair is no longer the black nylon but nice silky...

And so, yet again it's that time of the month. Uh huh... I have never had any pain or cramps like some women, but I have a little bit of lower energy going on with my body. I just want to rest-- and I am able to take that rest. I have bath salts, scrubs, essential oils, candles and soothing music. Yes. My tubs have jets and I invested in a small dry sauna in my home. My mom is over, and so is my sister and bestie flew in from Houston. We just wrapped up my best friend's wedding earlier this month and it was absolutely gorgeous. She's still giddy and glowing with her newly wed ass. Ma just came back from vacation with my step dad overseas in the Maldives (where in the hell are the Maldives? I will look them up at some point). My sister just came back from a women's retreat and is on a huge health kick. You can bounce a quarter off her butt she's so in shape and dating again, being fawned over by various men... It's really nice to be in the company of women who...