Enjoying the Journey- No, Really.

I open the door to my backyard, and look out at the landscape. The pool is sparkling in the sun and the grass and bushes look lush and green. There is a swing hanging from the old maple tree to the left of the pool. In front of the pool and to the right there is a fire pit with the circular booth seating just beyond the retractable awning of the back porch. There's a bbq pit sitting there too. You can still smell the smoky smell of recent barbecues past, also a sweet reminder of what paid for the house. I look past all this to find a winding stone path. At the end of the path, is a studio with a little porch of its own and beautiful vases both clear and colored, some filled with pretty marbles that reflect the light, and others filled with flowers. The door opens and a little grey haired woman in work out pants and a big t-shirt peaks out holding a steaming cup of coffee, directing a smile and a gesture towards the coffee. I show her my coffee mug and she at me waves "c'me...

The other day, I had a visualization. I often do this as a way to relief tension and stress while meditating and to ease my way into relaxation. It was of me at different fazes of my life--I was talking to different past "me's" as the me I am now and reassuring them of their future destiny. This process felt healing. But as I came into the present moment "me", running out of past "me's" to sooth, I started to think about what future "me" will be like, or rather what I would want her to be like. Here is a visualization I've had a couple of times about future Me (sidetone: this bitch is fabulous): I'm in a fancy neighborhood standing on sidewalk in front of a large home. I see a black Mercedes pull up nonchalantly in front of me, between me and the large house. The windows are slightly tinted. The woman rolls down the window and I see her...Me. She has blond colored box braids framing her cute slightly older me face. More freckl...

Life is a whirlwind sometimes. Like swimming in the choppy waters of a wave pool when the waves come on and you are treading water trying to stay afloat but every time you get a small gasp of air another wave slaps you across the face, dragging you down under the water. Holding your breath...It leaves you holding your breath. And you keep trying, doggedly to make it to the surface of the water. And just when you start to get the feeling that you might take your last breath in that pool and your arms and legs are overtired, lungs burning and heaving from taking in too much chlorinated water, the waves start to let up and become flatter and flatter, like a tropical ocean opening up into sunshine after a terrible storm. You come to the surface and look around like your eyes can't hardly believe it. And then you do it all over again in 10 minutes like it's the first time it's ever happened. That's how being apart of a blending family is everyday. You never know what mood...